Servied = Survived
My advice, write your blogs in Word and run Spell Check before you post them...o wait, there's a spell check option right here in the blog composer.
Idiot.
I didn't know athlete had three syllables...that's amazazing!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Orlando + Happy Hour + Fountains + Cell Phone = broken cell phone
Here's a good one...
During the week of September 10th I took a trip to Orlando, FL to participate in the World Softball Tournament...we went 0-2...so the softball wasn't too good...
Anyhow, the hotel that we stay in down there, Comfort Suites Maingate East in Kissimmee, FL, offers free beer and wine for two hours from 5-7pm every night! I know!
I got down there late on Tuesday night, the 11th, and met the rest of the group at Logan's for dinner and then headed back to the hotel and fell asleep so I could really attack the free happy hour the next day...
So I spend the afternoon at the pool and had a few beers that I purchased at Publix earlier in the day and then 5:00pm rolled around...so me and my teammates and all of our fans (5) gathered around the bar out by the pool for some euchre and booze.
I perfected a 5-beer carrying system...I'd say, "5 beers please." So I'd take a few drinks from the one and carry that one in my mouth and use my abnormally long salad-finger-esque fingers to carry the other 4. Don't worry family, I don't drink all five, I give them out to my friends at the table and they do the same for me...
So the process continues and I end up consuming my fair share of 408 10-oz beers poured by the bartender. Then we decide to walk a few blocks over yonder to Old Town...we did some stuff there and then around 10:00pm we decide it's best for some of us to return to the hotel...me not being one of those people.
On the way back I began calling people, bad idea, some of you who read this may have gotten a call, good for you...for you were one of the last to receive a call from that particular cell phone!
I come across a nice refreshing-looking fountain at one of the other hotels along our route back from Old Town. I believe I thought, "I'm going to jump into this fountain up to my knees and cool off a little bit and maybe get a laugh from everyone with me." Well, I got plenty of laughs and I cooled off, way off!
I forgot to factor in the size 15 sandals/water skis that I was wearing that evening. As I leaped the fountain's edge my feet hit the water and slid out from underneath me ever so slightly causing me to fully submerge in the fountain. My cell phone, which I held in my hand just in case the water level got to my shorts was submerged and my wallett was as well. The wallett servived, the phone, however, was not so fortunate.
And that's why Orlando + Happy Hour + Fountains + Cell Phone = Broken cell phone. Stay tuned for the next lesson from the biggest idiot you know...or atleast the tallest.
idiot
During the week of September 10th I took a trip to Orlando, FL to participate in the World Softball Tournament...we went 0-2...so the softball wasn't too good...
Anyhow, the hotel that we stay in down there, Comfort Suites Maingate East in Kissimmee, FL, offers free beer and wine for two hours from 5-7pm every night! I know!
I got down there late on Tuesday night, the 11th, and met the rest of the group at Logan's for dinner and then headed back to the hotel and fell asleep so I could really attack the free happy hour the next day...
So I spend the afternoon at the pool and had a few beers that I purchased at Publix earlier in the day and then 5:00pm rolled around...so me and my teammates and all of our fans (5) gathered around the bar out by the pool for some euchre and booze.
I perfected a 5-beer carrying system...I'd say, "5 beers please." So I'd take a few drinks from the one and carry that one in my mouth and use my abnormally long salad-finger-esque fingers to carry the other 4. Don't worry family, I don't drink all five, I give them out to my friends at the table and they do the same for me...
So the process continues and I end up consuming my fair share of 408 10-oz beers poured by the bartender. Then we decide to walk a few blocks over yonder to Old Town...we did some stuff there and then around 10:00pm we decide it's best for some of us to return to the hotel...me not being one of those people.
On the way back I began calling people, bad idea, some of you who read this may have gotten a call, good for you...for you were one of the last to receive a call from that particular cell phone!
I come across a nice refreshing-looking fountain at one of the other hotels along our route back from Old Town. I believe I thought, "I'm going to jump into this fountain up to my knees and cool off a little bit and maybe get a laugh from everyone with me." Well, I got plenty of laughs and I cooled off, way off!
I forgot to factor in the size 15 sandals/water skis that I was wearing that evening. As I leaped the fountain's edge my feet hit the water and slid out from underneath me ever so slightly causing me to fully submerge in the fountain. My cell phone, which I held in my hand just in case the water level got to my shorts was submerged and my wallett was as well. The wallett servived, the phone, however, was not so fortunate.
And that's why Orlando + Happy Hour + Fountains + Cell Phone = Broken cell phone. Stay tuned for the next lesson from the biggest idiot you know...or atleast the tallest.
idiot
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Where's the Neutrality?
Big Brother's at it again...
Public Knowledge to AT&T: Leave Those Pearl Jam Lyrics Alone
Telco Ripped for Editing Anti-Lyrics from Webcast of Lollapalooza Concert
By John Eggerton -- Broadcasting & Cable, 8/8/2007 7:22:00 PM
Public Knowledge called "appalling" AT&T's editing of some added, anti-Bush lyrics from a Webcast of the Lollapalooza concert the telco sponsored. AT&T called it a mistake that won't be repeated.
The Web site of Pearl Jam -- the band that performed a variation on Pink Floyd's “Another Brick in the Wall” with some modified lyrics -- was painting the edit as a "network-neutrality" and media-consolidation issue.
The lines cut from the telco’s Web site, it said, were, "George Bush, leave this world alone," and, "George Bush, find yourself another home."
"This, of course, troubles us as artists, but also as citizens concerned with the issue of censorship and the increasingly consolidated control of the media," said an item on the site.
"AT&T's actions strike at the heart of the public's concerns over the power that corporations have when it comes to determining what the public sees and hears through communications media,” the item continued. "Most telecommunications companies oppose ‘net neutrality’ and argue that the public can trust them not to censor."
AT&T spokesman Mike Coe confirmed the edit but said it was a mistake made by an outside contractor, adding that the company is talking with the band about posting the song in its entirety on AT&T's Blue Room concert Web site, which streamed the event.
Public Knowledge, which has been a proponent of network neutrality, wasn't buying the explanation.
“It is nothing short of appalling that AT&T should take it upon itself to censor a Webcast because it didn’t like the content of lyrics being sung by a band," Public Knowledge president Gigi B. Sohn said. “This incident goes beyond AT&T’s explanation that the blocking of lyrics was due to an overzealous ‘content monitor.' We hope the FCC [Federal Communications Commission] and Congress take note.”
Coe said it was not a case of AT&T not liking song lyrics. In fact, he added, the monitor was an outside contractor who was there to edit out excessive profanity in band banter between songs, not to edit lyrics.
"We don't censor these concerts," he said. "What happened was a mistake.”
Coe added that because the Blue Room is not age-restricted and anyone can watch, "we have a two-minute buffer from live to the Web, and we have a policy of reviewing the content for excessive profanity in the banter that is going on, or, say someone ‘streaks’ across the stage."
But this was political speech, not profanity or nudity. "It was a mistake," he reiterated, adding that the company is working through its outside agency to make sure the monitors are "well-versed and well-trained" to ensure that "something like this doesn't happen again."
Public Knowledge to AT&T: Leave Those Pearl Jam Lyrics Alone
Telco Ripped for Editing Anti-Lyrics from Webcast of Lollapalooza Concert
By John Eggerton -- Broadcasting & Cable, 8/8/2007 7:22:00 PM
Public Knowledge called "appalling" AT&T's editing of some added, anti-Bush lyrics from a Webcast of the Lollapalooza concert the telco sponsored. AT&T called it a mistake that won't be repeated.
The Web site of Pearl Jam -- the band that performed a variation on Pink Floyd's “Another Brick in the Wall” with some modified lyrics -- was painting the edit as a "network-neutrality" and media-consolidation issue.
The lines cut from the telco’s Web site, it said, were, "George Bush, leave this world alone," and, "George Bush, find yourself another home."
"This, of course, troubles us as artists, but also as citizens concerned with the issue of censorship and the increasingly consolidated control of the media," said an item on the site.
"AT&T's actions strike at the heart of the public's concerns over the power that corporations have when it comes to determining what the public sees and hears through communications media,” the item continued. "Most telecommunications companies oppose ‘net neutrality’ and argue that the public can trust them not to censor."
AT&T spokesman Mike Coe confirmed the edit but said it was a mistake made by an outside contractor, adding that the company is talking with the band about posting the song in its entirety on AT&T's Blue Room concert Web site, which streamed the event.
Public Knowledge, which has been a proponent of network neutrality, wasn't buying the explanation.
“It is nothing short of appalling that AT&T should take it upon itself to censor a Webcast because it didn’t like the content of lyrics being sung by a band," Public Knowledge president Gigi B. Sohn said. “This incident goes beyond AT&T’s explanation that the blocking of lyrics was due to an overzealous ‘content monitor.' We hope the FCC [Federal Communications Commission] and Congress take note.”
Coe said it was not a case of AT&T not liking song lyrics. In fact, he added, the monitor was an outside contractor who was there to edit out excessive profanity in band banter between songs, not to edit lyrics.
"We don't censor these concerts," he said. "What happened was a mistake.”
Coe added that because the Blue Room is not age-restricted and anyone can watch, "we have a two-minute buffer from live to the Web, and we have a policy of reviewing the content for excessive profanity in the banter that is going on, or, say someone ‘streaks’ across the stage."
But this was political speech, not profanity or nudity. "It was a mistake," he reiterated, adding that the company is working through its outside agency to make sure the monitors are "well-versed and well-trained" to ensure that "something like this doesn't happen again."
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Brian Regan Comedy and how it parallels my life
Brian Regan, best damn comedian out there (to me anyway), jokes about how many steps there are on the POP-TART box to prepare a pop-tart in the toaster...and if you don't have time to use the toaster to go ahead and put it in the microwave for 3.5 seconds. He says, "if you don't have the minute and a half required to toast a pop-tart in the morning...you might want to look into loosening up your schedule.
I got a similar tip from Google today about performing searches online...I was looking for directions to a high school in Louisville that I visit for work. I typed in the address and clicked on "search" with the mouse. Very quickly, a list of possible locations was developed for my viewing pleasure...the first line of text appears below...
"For speadier searches press the return key instead of clicking search"
If anything I wasted more time reading the stupid tip than using the mouse to hit the search button. Upon further consideration...had I used the "return" key instead of the mouse I would have significantly more time to play with my legos during my lunch break.
Darn.
I got a similar tip from Google today about performing searches online...I was looking for directions to a high school in Louisville that I visit for work. I typed in the address and clicked on "search" with the mouse. Very quickly, a list of possible locations was developed for my viewing pleasure...the first line of text appears below...
"For speadier searches press the return key instead of clicking search"
If anything I wasted more time reading the stupid tip than using the mouse to hit the search button. Upon further consideration...had I used the "return" key instead of the mouse I would have significantly more time to play with my legos during my lunch break.
Darn.
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